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Nobody Wants Tobacky Tongue

giraffe with tongue out

There’s this thing that happens when you wake up after a night of smoking social cigs. Beyond the headache and the smell, it’s like a small animal curled up and died in your mouth. Tobacco tongue is a dry, sticky, nasty start to your morning. Nobody wants tobacco tongue. Here are nine things that are better than a case of tobacco tongue:

1. A big Snapchat filter dog tongue.

2. Gene Simmons rock n’ roll face.

3. A ridiculous makeout sesh.

4. Annoying your brother from another mother.

5. Enjoying a snack.

6. Licking frozen metal to see if it sticks.

7. Getting it pierced.

8. Smizing.

9. Tying a knot in a cherry stem with no hands.

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Crystal's Story

block_placeholder 9 out of 10 people say they don't want to date someone with cigarette breath
9 out of 10 people say they don't want to date someone with cigarette breath
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block_placeholder smoking just 5 times per month causes shortness of breath and fatigue
smoking just 5 times per month causes shortness of breath and fatigue
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That Time You Thought You Could Quit Whenever

block_placeholder the bad wingman, he says he's there for you but he's not
the bad wingman, he says he's there for you but he's not
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This Guy: Not Really Your Friend

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How Sexy Do You Feel Today?

block_placeholder giraffe with tongue out what's that rank taste in your mouth? tobacky tongue
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What's that Rank Taste in Your Mouth?

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Do What the Prez Says

block_placeholder benefits of the squeeze ball
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Squeeze Ball Will Blow Your Mind

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the cig fairy
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That Friend Who Offers You a Cigarette Whether You Asked or Not

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A Message from Some-bunny Who Cares